Ordinary Life
by prettyoddthings
Summary: Shisui had orders. He had to follow those orders. It was his duty as a shinobi of Konoha. (AU/non-mass later on) Alternate title: The Untold Story of Uchiha Shisui
1. Prologue

**Prologue:**

Shisui considered himself a lot of things. Cruel was not one of them. He never enjoyed killing, never got used to the lifelessness of the bodies he left behind. Yet the eyes that stared back at him through tear stained cheeks and bloody hair made him rethink that statement.

He had orders. He had to follow those orders. It was his duty as a shinobi of Konoha.

He lifted his tanto and edged closer to the young mother cradling a small bundle in a blood red blanket. The baby started wailing and the woman pressed it even deeper into her chest. Shisui stopped, he had never ended a life this young before.

He knew it wasn't right, but when was killing ever?

He wouldn't make this harder than it had to be. The woman's head dropped to the ground not two seconds later. Blood gathered around his feet. Pure, red blood oozing out of the cut and slipping through the cracks of the floor.  
The hands of the now headless woman kept their frantic hold on to the baby, almost as if to protect it even after death.

Shisui didn't know if he could do it. The baby wasn't even a year old from what he could tell. It started crying even harder, as if it understood what had just happened. The sound cut like glass through every single principle Shisui had ever learnt. The mask on Shisui's face suddenly felt heavier than normal. He moved and stopped. He took a kunai out of his pouch and approached the child. It would be so easy. Just one little cut and the baby would never breathe again.

He didn't move for a long time. He wasn't cruel, he wasn't sadistic, he wasn't evil, but killing a small defenceless child would make him exactly that.  
Something he couldn't be.  
Something he never wanted to be.

 _Orders_.

He had the orders to kill the whole Masami family, every living person related to Masami Ryuk. He had executed said orders perfectly, just one more to go.

He gripped the kunai tighter and with one slash ripped open the neck of the baby.  
The wailing died and so did the heartbeat.  
The kunai dropped to the floor and so did Shisui.

His chest hurt, air tasted like fire, his heartbeat echoed in his head.

Killing wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to play God. This was _wrong_.

He sat there for quite a while, trembling hands and the smell of decaying flesh in the air. He shook his head, stood up, lifted his mask and looked around himself. Everything was red. Blood splashed almost artistically over the white walls, taking over the floor and dripping from severed heads. There was no time to mourn, no time to think. The deed was done, he couldn't change a thing. He began to clean up.

He tried not to pity his victims, tried to repress every single one of their dull stares after life had been sucked out of them. Most did. To Shisui's chagrin or luck, it got easier after every kill. Now it hardly bothered him anymore. They didn't hunt his dreams, they didn't drag him into self-loathing, they only made him tired.

The baby. The baby made him feel something akin to regret for the first time in almost 5 years.

Regret that obedience came before human decency.

Regret that the baby marked his 70th kill.

There were other people. People like him, who grew up thinking that killing wasn't right, but that it was necessary. To protect what you loved and bring honour to your family.

It was an ideology. An ideology they were taught since they could formulate proper sentences. For his family, killing wasn't bad, it was a side effect of the purpose they served. Sometimes he wished he could think so too.

Then he was glad that he wasn't like them.

Maybe Uchiha Shisui wasn't a monster in the eyes of the public, maybe not even in his own, yet that didn't make him one any less.

-x-

So this is my new project. I love the idea of this character too much to let it go to waste. The creators didn't do anything with his potential, so I took the chance to change that. I put a lot of outside personality into Shisui, because we don't know much about him, but if you think he is OOC then tell me. I'm really trying to get him right.

Thanks for reading and have a nice day!

(Updates will be slow coming and chapters will be longer)


	2. Chapter 2: Human Contact

Chapter 2: Human Contact

When he entered through the gates, he felt oddly calm. He gave a nod at the two chunin stationed at the desk and body-flickered away.

The ANBU headquarters were always busy. Teams running around in different formations, the captains clutching scrolls and the team members readying their weaponry. Normally Shisui worked under Materashi Hisai, one of the best ANBU captains in service as of this moment. Shisui knew he could make captain any moment he wanted, but he didn't care to. He liked the atmosphere of the team he was currently in, the prospect of not having to make the hard, but necessary decisions. Plus, he didn't know how his clan would react. He didn't want a repeat of the moment he had told his mother he wanted to join ANBU instead of the Police Force. Most of the dishes hadn't survived that conversation and he doubted that this time around it would be any different.

Oh, his beloved clan! His beloved clan and the now almost always present migraine he associated with his lovely family. Things were tense as it is, he didn't want to aggravate anything by stepping out of the clear line drawn by the clan elders.

So, in the end it was wiser to stay like this.

Shisui changed as fast as he could, which meant he was finished in less than ten minutes. He smelled of blood and sweat, even after having changed into his normal gear. The odour of the fear of both the woman and the kid seemingly not leaving his skin. He shook his head and forced the image out of his mind.

He would take a long shower.

It was weird walking through the headquarters without a mask on. He felt exposed, even more so than when he was on a mission. The mask gave a sense of anonymity, of security, something that they all needed, as far as Shisui could tell.

When he exited the changing rooms, he was met with stares of all sorts. He greeted a few of his comrades with friendly nods, some reciprocated, others just blankly gawked back. ANBU changed people. It was an honour as much as it was a burden.

He sighed and ran a hand through his wild hair. He just wanted to get out of here, get six hours of sleep and begin a new day. That wasn't too much to ask for, was it?

Report. He still had to write the damn report, then he had to check on his mother, and he had to speak to Itachi. He sighed once more and started to head home.

The clock struck 3 AM as he entered the compound and he knew that his mother was still very much awake.

Shisui loved his mother, as much as any son loved his mother, but that didn't mean that she wasn't infuriating. Uchiha Kyo knew everything about everyone, or so she thought. She was one of the old Uchihas, stuck in their beliefs and a time before the Third Shinobi War. She didn't have a sharingan. Never activated it as far as Shisui was aware. She didn't fight in the War and she never killed anybody, that much was clear. Officially she was a retired chunin, but that didn't change the facts. Nevertheless, she considered herself a veteran and of course mentioned this as often as possible.

Pride could get you a long way before dropping you on the cold hard ground.

Shisui knew that he should cut her some slack. She witnessed as two of her three children were taken by the war, the same war he had been recruited for when he was only seven years old. Although he didn't know his siblings very well, due to the war, but also because of the large age gap between them, he understood that burying a child was never easy. Even if they died in the line of duty.

He decided that his mother was more important than the report and headed towards her house. He didn't live with her anymore, hadn't for some time. As soon as the title of jounin hit his file he was out of his childhood home. The reasons were diverse, but most of them had to do with privacy and differentiating opinions on important matters. On bad days, he missed his old home, the stability it once had held and the security it exhaled. Today was not one of those bad days.

His mother wasn't a clan favourite. Most of his family thought that she was one of the worst examples of the Uchiha name. A black sheep, of some sort. Shisui thought that it was quite hypocritical of them. His mother literally preached the same values the clan elders did.

Her house was at the very back of the compound, hidden behind a big oak tree. He could almost picture the lonely illuminated room his mother was sitting in, reading a book or trying to knit almost falling asleep over her work.

It was unnerving walking through his home when there was no noise, no light and no people around. It felt menacing. It reminded him too much of the calm before a storm.

He sighed, tried to catch his reflection in the doorknob before he knocked at the door as quietly as possible. He looked tired, his eyebags getting almost bigger than his actual eyes and the hair looked just as unwashed as it actually was.  
He still owned a key, but he hadn't used it in years. He couldn't bring himself to. This wasn't his house anymore and he had no right.

The door was opened swiftly.

Uchiha Kyo hadn't changed in years. The grey hair every single close relative of Shisui possessed, hung down her shoulders in lovely waves. The scar, acquired a lot of years ago, hadn't faded in the least and divided her face in two. His mother was old. Almost too old to have mothered a sixteen-year-old, but then again Shisui doubted that he was a planned kid. Most of the time it didn't bother him, but sometimes, well sometimes, on bad days, it hurt that he was a simple accident.

"You told me you would be home by one." Over her eyes, creases had formed. She looked so tired that Shisui almost felt bad.  
He smiled and gave her a little wave.

"Hi mom, it's nice to see you too." He planted a soft kiss on her cheek. "The mission was more intricate than thought beforehand, so please excuse my tardiness."

His mother stepped out of the doorway and dragged him into the house. A hint of mandarins hit him in the face, instantly he relaxed. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He could almost picture himself running down the stairs for his first day at the Academy, the proud smile on his mother's face and the amused twinkle in his father's eyes.

"I made some curry for you." Kyo said while inspecting Shisui with a carefully trained eye.

"That sounds wonderful, mom." He replied, still in trance and continued towards the kitchen.

He had a relatively good relationship with his mother, better than other people he knew. He couldn't really complain. Sometimes his mother would pull stunts like these, ask him what time his mission would finish and wait up. Most of the time he would go home to a lonely two bedroom apartment in the east of the compound and eat whatever his fridge offered.

His mother was very efficient in what she was doing and very good at it, so it didn't astound Shisui that his mother had prepared a lovely table. Shisui grabbed a plate for her as well, set it down opposite of his and motioned for her to sit as well. Kyo didn't eat enough, well, not enough for Shisui to call it appropriate.

"So, mom," he said, his face already stuffed with curry, "any particular reason you wanted to see me so badly?" A teasing smile formed on his lips. "I mean besides the obvious."

Cue the obligatory eyeroll from his mother.

His mother was silent for a moment. It was those kinds of silences into which you could interpret anything and everything, if you chose to do so. Uchiha Kyo was no liar, she preferred the truth, as hurtful as it was to the benign lies and had passed on this trait to him.

Kyo cleared her throat.

"I was asked to tell you that your appearance was mandatory at the next clan meeting."

Shisui continued chewing and swallowed.

Clan meetings. He had been avoiding them like the pest, but it wasn't that worrying. Maybe they just wanted him to be more active, portray a good example, especially for the younger generation.

"And afterwards you have a private meeting with the clan elders." His mother continued, suddenly very interested in her fingernails.

Shisui put his spoon down. Cold hard truth coming to slap him in the face. This, _this_ wasn't good news. When the clan was interested in someone then that someone was doomed, in the literal and metaphorical sense. At least that was what his uncle Kagami had always told him.

"When's the next meeting?" He inquired, his voice steady, disinterested almost.

"In a week."

"I'll make sure that I'll be there."

He left his mother at 4 in the morning with a goodbye and a promise to come over more often. He took on mission after mission these last weeks. Those missions were especially offered to him and he couldn't turn them down. If he did, he would only bring shame to his name. So, he was quite out of the loop on the happenings in Konoha.  
The important events were clear in his mind; chunin exams, tension between shinobi villages, the new assigned emperor…Everything else went completely over his head.

When he arrived at his home, there was already a shadow lurking on the porch.

"Ita-chama, it's good to see you."

"Shisui."

Shisui had to repress a smile at the curt greeting of his younger friend. Itachi was small for his age, just like Shisui was tall for his. It made people give them very odd looks when they trained together and Shisui was pummelled to the ground. He remembered fondly a very hot afternoon that ended with two broken rips and a concussion on his part.

Shisui took out his keys, and while passing, ruffled Itachi's hair. The lock to his apartment building had always been stubborn. There was 50/50 chance that he had to find other means to get into his apartment. When the click of victory sounded, Shisui turned towards Itachi and shot him a cocky grin. The boy only rolled his eyes. Shisui made a mental note to teach him how to enjoy the small victories in life (even if it was against your own front door).

"I see you still haven't taken my advice into consideration?"

"And speak to my landlord?" Shisui huffed. "Yeah, no thank you. He would only make my rent go up and change absolutely nothing about the lock."

Shisui lived on the second floor, squashed between the old man from downstairs and the loud couple from upstairs. It wasn't ideal, but life never was.

Shisui was a lot of things, yet tidy he was not. His place was a mess. Stuff lying everywhere, from scrolls covering his bed, to kunais stuck in furniture or pinning paper to the walls and dirty clothes decorating the ground. He nervously scratched his head as his eyes landed on a brown banana peel in the corner of a dresser. He had once heard someone say that one's home reflected one's soul. He didn't know if he should be worried or pleased.

He couldn't be bothered to clean up. It was work, and when he was off duty he made it clear to keep himself as far away from work as possible. So, it just never lined up and he continued to live in his mess and grew to love it over the years.

Itachi didn't appreciate it half as much as Shisui did though. Every time his friend entered his place an expression of disgust swept over Itachi's face and his pointer finger on his right hand began to twitch. Shisui guessed that Itachi was secretly a control freak. It would explain a lot.

"Make yourself at home." He cheerily announced, catching Itachi's very displeased eyes.

"Hn."

Shisui never used the standard Uchiha response for everything. He thought it moronic. If he wanted to say something, he had to use words and not wait 'till people correctly interpreted his grunting noises.

Looking over his place, he felt another headache forming at the front of his skull. Since he was fourteen he suffered from excruciating migraines, catalysed by his sharingan, so the medic said. At first, he refused to believe the medics and continued to use the sharingan as extensively as he had his entire life. Then he went almost blind for a day, his vision so blurry that he couldn't even make out his own hand. It was the wakeup call he had needed. The sharingan was powerful, but everything came at a price. Shisui was in the bingo books, he was feared, respected and completely helpless the moment the sharingan took his eyesight. It felt like a right hook to his gut every time he thought about it.

Pushing away the clutter on his desk, he sat down, now pressing his index fingers against his temple. He was tired, stank like a skunk and could feel his pulse echoing in his head. He felt his eyelids grow heavier.

"…ANBU."

Itachi's voice ripped him out of his thoughts.

"What?" Shisui frowned.

"I'm joining ANBU." He repeated.

Shisui looked up.

"You're eleven." He blinked dumbfounded. Thirteen. Everybody had to be at least thirteen years of age to be able to join ANBU. He had been allowed acceptance at thirteen, just like Hatake. Seemed that Itachi had broken yet another record.

Shisui didn't know if that was necessarily a good thing.

"Hn."

Itachi was holding his head high, his face was passive and Shisui was reminded just how emotionally inept his little cousin was.

"Congrats?" Shisui went into his kitchen and opened the fridge. He was pretty sure this happening had already been celebrated with a nice meal and some _accepting_ words. "I would offer you a cake or something different, but the best I can do is pickles. You don't like pickles, do you?"

Itachi's lips twitched. Shisui wanted to clap himself on the back. It was harder these last months to get the guy to smile.

"I have to warn you. The changing rooms stink like hell, everybody is always moody and most of them don't have a sense of humour." Shisui said, still rummaging through his fridge. He scratched his head and stared at the very much empty space. He really needed to buy groceries. "Oh, and a big nono is 'borrowing' snacks. Believe me. I learned it the hard way."

"I'll keep it in mind."

Shisui turned around to get a better view at his cousin. He didn't sound excited, he didn't sound scared, he sounded done.

"This wasn't your decision." He stated, grabbing the cold jam and two spoons.

"Not entirely, no." Itachi reciprocated.

"Let me guess, your father?"

Fugaku. Fugaku and his complexes. Fuagku and the fact that he projected every single of his personal failures onto his son. Fugaku and his ego problem. Fugaku, a clan head that was loved by his people, respected and feared. That Shisui was taught to love although he knew first-hand what a dick he was.

"Hn."

That was the best answer he would get. You couldn't push Itachi into telling you something if he didn't want to tell you. One of the many things Shisui had learned over years of friendship.

Shisui sighed, a lazy smile falling on his lips.

"So how about this for celebration snack?" He lifted the strawberry jam.

Shisui swore he heard Itachi snort, who would go one to deny such indecent acts, naturally.

It was 8 AM when he finally kicked off his shoes and fell into bed. The report was written, even proofread by none other than his dearest cousin, delivered and out of his mind. Yet sleep wouldn't meet him halfway.

His body was tired. He had been awake for almost 24 hours, had run multiple miles at chakra induced speed and his head was killing him. He just wanted to snooze his day away, but after almost an hour of continuous twitching and shifting, he gave up. He would just relax differently then, sleep be damned. His free day wouldn't be wasted.  
When he sat up and suddenly felt the world spinning for a millisecond, he decided that that was enough actions for the day and dropped back into his sheets.

He sighed and pressed his face into his pillow. Normally he fell into bed and slept like a little baby. Today there was this feeling of unease, unrest and dread, crawling up and down his stomach. He had never gotten it inside his own four walls. It was the feeling he got on missions, when enemy-nin were close and he didn't know if he could outrun them. Or when he had to leave behind a comrade.

He stared at his ceiling, cracked and broken.

-x-

He switched position and now faced the wall. He counted to ten and closed his eyes.

Although the Uchicha compound was the biggest compound in Konoha, it didn't have everything Shisui's heart desired, meaning a second supermarket.  
A very nosy, (nice at heart), woman owned the only grocery shop and made shopping there almost unbearable. If he bought anything out of the ordinary, like a new tea for example, it would somehow end up as the reason he was secretly dating a girl. The last time he had bought a pack of blood oranges and the lady had suddenly felt the need to elaborate on the human body and how their species procreated. Shisui didn't know if she did it to get a rise out of people, or just because she was bored, but he aspired to become that annoying in his ending years. Afterwards he had laughed at the situation, at the completely cathartic look on the mother's face covering her daughter's ears and the old geezer cackling in the back, milk in hand.  
He liked going to the shop when he was bored and wanted to get entertained, but if he wanted to do actual grocery shopping he would rather die, than set foot into that place. So, that was why he was strolling through the streets of Konoha on his way to buy very unhealthy things Itachi would frown at.

He preferred the west of the village to the east, mainly because civilians took time out of their lives to decorate their homes, while shinobi stayed clear of everything that was unnecessary, himself included. He liked seeing civilians, their smiles and the easy-going atmosphere radiating all around them. It felt comforting.

He had taken a week of leave, because of the clan meeting he was so excited to attend (he was not) and the fact that he was physically dead. Almost two months of constant duty was taking its toll and he couldn't continue like this, even if he tried.  
They complied reluctantly.  
Shisui never asked for much. As a boy, he was told that nobody did, so he shouldn't either. He saw how many people took that rule too literally and worked themselves to the brink of exhaustion, endangering both their comrades and their village.

Being a good shinobi also meant knowing when to take a break.

The market was almost empty. Two girls stood before the vegetable section, one of them with her hands in her pockets and an air of indifference around her, the other one enthusiastically examining two avocadoes and her hair flying everywhere while moving her head form right to left. Then there were a few women, clutching their purse with one hand and their children with the other, throwing critical glances at whatever product they were interested in. Of course, he couldn't forget about the old men in the back sneakily throwing the alcohol, he dared say, desiring glances.

Daily life, how absolutely, gratifyingly, dull.  
Shisui, incomprehensibly, unashamedly, fascinated by it.

He made good money and therefore didn't blink as he threw into his basket everything he wanted. Although on paper he was an adult, he was very bad at 'adulty things', such as cooking. The thing with eating was, he ate when he was hungry, at 2 AM or at 3 PM, it didn't matter. He nourished his body so he could move. It was a simple process.  
He knew that he couldn't live off chocolate and carbs, and should eat after a more or less balanced diet, but sometimes things just came short.

His basket was almost overflowing when he reached the till. He didn't know if this would even last five days. The cashier sent him an incredulous look and he shrugged.

"I'm a growing boy, ma'am." He said giving her a cheeky smile.

The cashier snorted and raised her eyebrows.

Shisui didn't look sixteen. He looked much older, worn by the weather and time. His height, the bags under his eyes and the creases surrounding his mouth didn't help him look any younger. On missions, it came in handy, people automatically respected him more the older he seemed. Otherwise he really didn't care. He only prayed to Kami every week or so that he wouldn't be bald by twenty-five, although he was pretty sure he could pull it off just fine.

"It exists because it's beautiful, Tara."

The two girls from before were approaching the register and from what he could tell they were in an argument.

"Some things are just _that_ : Fun! They don't have to make sense or be useful." The blond agitatedly spoke her hands clutching what seemed to be a robot toad. The other girl, Tara, didn't answer and continued her unpacking.

"Come on!" The blond said exasperated.  
Shisui saw from the corner of his eye how Tara shot the blond a menacing glare.

"It's a fucking toy, Aiko." She deadpanned. "Unless you're under five you have no plausible excuse to find it amusing."

"Language, sis. Language." The blond said, lifting her hand and inspecting the robotic creature.

Shisui and the cashier shared an amused grin as he handed her the money. Situations like these was why he liked to come to the civilian district.

"Uuuh hottie alert at two o'clock." The blond, now identified as Aiko, fake-whispered.

Shisui turned his head towards two o'clock to find a wall of different assortments of crisps. A Cheshire Grin spread over his features.

"If you mean the guy in front of us, that would be twelve o'clock." Tara stated bluntly.

Shisui turned around just in time to see Aiko hit her sister over the head with the robot figurine. It was quite a sight, the very petite girl, hitting the almost 20 centimetres taller one, over the head no less.

"The fuck was that for…" Tara mumbled, rubbing her head. The air of indifference had worn off replaced by the unspoken shock on her face. "You just cold-bloodedly hit me over the head. With a fucking toy." Her eyes roamed down her sister's face, in vain.

Aiko didn't meet her eyes. She was looking at him and Shisui would be damned if he said he didn't like what he saw. The girl's eyes were of a beautiful midnight blue, framed by wild blond locks and a small, pointy nose. The sun fell on her face and she shyly smiled at him.

He was smitten.

"You know what. Do this shit alone for all I care." Tara huffed, the air of indifference settling over her once again. She put her hands in the air and walked past them. Leaving behind Shisui and an angel on earth.

-x-

"You didn't have to do this." Aiko said for the millionth time. Same as all the times before Shisui found the little crunch her nose made unexplainably cute and responded by winking at her.

"Who would I be, to leave such a pretty lady all alone in a supermarket with so many bags to carry." He looked down at his very full hands. "It would simply be despicable."

Aiko rolled her eyes playfully, but seemed very pleased with his answer. A comfortable silence was settling over them.

"I have to excuse my sister's behaviour," Aiko fiddled with the hem of her sleeve, "She's…very complex and today wasn't her day."

 _Complex my ass, more like bitchy_.

"Don't worry about it I know how annoying family can be." He offered her a reassuring smile. "But you can't help but love them. Right?"

"You got a lot of family?"

It was such an innocent question, such a normal one, but would change the dynamic between them. Until now he was Shisui, not Uchiha Shisui, big difference. When he spoke to other shinobi they almost immediately took a step back. He didn't blame them for the reaction, just like civilians didn't accuse him of murder. It was normal, understandable.

"A whole clan full of them, actually." He replied and could feel the emblem burning a whole into his back. Sometimes he really wished he would be allowed to own clothing without his clan stitched into it. Personal expression and all that jazz. He waited for a reaction. The quiet 'Oh' or the little gulp, the downcast eyes, anything. The thing was, this time around there was no reaction.

"You're an Uchiha, right?" Aiko pushed a lock of hair out of her face and looked at him expectantly. There was no intimidation on her face and Shisui almost sighed of content.

"Yeah, that's right."

The corners of her mouth turned upwards.

"I've known one before, but he was nothing like you." She laughed as if she just shared a joke with him. "He was quite, how to put it, to the point if you will. Imagine an old man, displeased stares and all, mixed with the worst sense of humour possible and an air of superiority which would grind your gears, even if you were the Hokage himself...and tada, you have my acquaintance."

This description fit half of his family so he had no idea who she was talking about, yet he was intrigued and…maybe a bit worried.

"My family can be exasperating, but believe me when I say that they mean well." _80% of the time at least._ "And they have trouble showing emotions. Only a few lucky were born with them, others had to improvise." He gave her a serious look. "It's common courtesy that you don't make fun of the disabled."

Aiko stopped in her tracks and stared blankly at him. He halted as well. She seemed relaxed, happy almost, going by the look on her face. She shook her head playfully and reached for one of the bags, accidentally touching his hand.

"Where have you been all my life, sweet cheeks?" Aiko said and continued moving.  
The endearing smile that crept of Shisui's face was nothing in comparison to her reddening cheeks.

This would be good. He'd make it good.

Aiko lived in the civilian district in her family house with two sisters and her parents. She was the oldest with her nine-teen years and was currently studying to become a teacher, that was what Shisui had found out about her so far. She liked to talk, words fell from her lips like a water from a waterfall and she never stopped. She was active, free and light. She was a civilian through and through, something that Shisui had missed over the last months.

"Okay, we've gone around the same block twice. Either you don't know where you live or you have a really bad sense of direction." Shisui said putting his bags down and stretching his arms. "Or the most believable explanation of all, you just couldn't part ways with me."

Aiko smirked turning her head sideways.

"Aren't you clever?" Sparkling eyes and dashing smile she stood a few metres away from him. She reminded him of a cat, lying in the sun, enjoying life and living their best self.

Shisui dated. He was known as the guy who dated, from girls to guys, he had tried as much as he could. He wasn't an asshole who bounced from one person to the next, well not precisely. His elaborate dating life at such a tender age had reason behind it, at least that was what he told himself. He was to be married off at some age, completely giving up on any freedom in the sexual aspect, so he wanted to use the time as best as he could. And if he had to be completely honest, it was easy for him.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Aiko squinted and assessed him, but he could tell that she was acting. She edged closer to him.

"Did I give that impression?" She asked grabbing her bags.

He didn't answer only looked down at her, smirking.

"Monday, seven o'clock at the new place around the corner. Don't be late." She called out to him and walked towards the building at the end of the street.

He stared after her, the stupid smile not moving from his face and saw as she disappeared into a small house with green curtains.

What a time to be alive.

* * *

AN:

Two things.

Aiko, as a character, if you don't like her, don't worry she won't be playing a big role, although right now it seems like it. She serves as a purpose to explain Shisui's character better and I think overall that she is a very enjoyable character (at least I hope she is).

Also this story will be very slow. There will be around ten thousand words of only character building, background information until we'll get into the real plot. So I hope you don't mind that. It just how I work, especially for a story like this.

Anyway, have a nice day! Oh and contructive criticism or any sort of review is always very appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3: Familiar Problems

Chapter Three: Familiar Problems

Once in a blue moon he had to attend a so called 'family dinner'. It was less of a dinner than an interrogation of the younger generation, caused by distress or simple boredom of the older generation. He had a lot of cousins, a lot of uncles and aunts, generally more family than anyone hoped for in their entire life, but this specific event was first cousins only.

And so, he found himself on the couch of his uncle Kagami (side of his father) squashed between his younger cousin Shoujo and his older cousin Shizume. He was a family person in the sense that he would do anything and everything for them, but family gatherings like these, he thought, were unnecessary and dull. He loved his cousins, of course he did, but when he wanted to see them, it was on his terms and without his grandmother sending him displeased glances.

His mother hadn't been invited. It was one of the first things he had noticed: the absence of Uchiha Kyo. Since his father's death, his side of the family had completely cut ties with her (as well as one could do that in a clan). They didn't invite her to family gatherings, left her out of the family council and acted as if she had died with her husband. It made Shisui furious, but he couldn't do anything about it. _Take it with grace, smile when spoken to and don't let them see what you think_ was his motto on days like these.

Shoujo was the youngest of them, with his very short black hair and constant brooding. It was like watching an emotionless fish getting thrown out of his homely pond when Shisui tried to converse with his younger cousin. Barely genin he thought himself already a war-bread warrior, defeater of all evil and flawless. Shisui was the only person who put up with him during events like these, and he did mostly to get a rise out of the stoic kid.

The oldest cousin was Hotaru who was accompanied by his wife and his two sons, a family favourite, but then again, so was Shoujo. Then there were Shizume and Hikaru, the children of his uncle Kagami and his favourite cousins for that matter.

Shizume and Hikaru were dizygotic twins, shared the same twinkle in their black eyes and forthcoming personalities. They had stuck together all their lives until they had to choose a specialisation. Shizume worked in Konoha's Intelligence Division, short ID, under Yamanaka Inoichi, whereas Hikaru joined the Force, making Shisui's grandmother swoon in delight. Then there was him. Shisui with his early graduation, dead siblings, dead father and his outcasted mother.  
Shisui with his warm smiles and nonchalant way of living, who didn't fit quite into this family, and nevertheless was one of the pillars, holding this construct together.

"We missed you at the last clan meeting, Shisui." said Kagami, "It was a quite an important one too, at that."

Shisui leaned forward, trying to get a better look at his elderly uncle. Uchiha Kagami hadn't changed in all the years that Shisui had known him. He displayed an air of authority that nobody else in the family possessed, which was almost rebuked by the accepting smiles and encouraging nods Shisui had been receiving from his uncle since he could cleared his throat.

"I'm attending the next one." He affirmed and added, sarcastically. "Wouldn't miss that one for the world."

He carefully watched Kagami's face, watched for any indication that he knew something, was aware of a bigger problem they were facing. Yet, Kagami Uchiha was an even better shinobi than he was.

"I'm sure the clan heads will be pleased." Kagaim replied.

Everything suddenly went quiet and the only thing he could see were the old, wise eyes of his uncle. It was the exact moment Shisui knew that he was, to put it eloquently, fucked. Uchiha Kagami, absolutely, without a doubt, detested the clan elders with a passion Shisui would never be able to rival, even if he tried. So, to say that they were _pleased_ , it acted as much as a warning as somebody waving red flags over his head. Shisui choked on his own saliva as his aunt called them to the dinner table.

What the hell had he gotten himself into? For Kami's sake he hadn't even been in the village for more than three days at a time. Normally when he messed up he knew very well what he had done. It was his _thing._ He messed up on purpose, he pushed people out of their comfort zones and didn't control his mouth when he should, but he did it voluntarily. This? This wasn't his doing.

At least the food was good. Shisui tried to comfort himself by swallowing down as much of the delicious meal his aunt had prepared. He didn't know if he was eating to replace the worry in his gut by something more substantial or because he didn't want to talk to Hikaru, sitting opposite him laughing at his stuffed face. Maybe a bit of both.

"So how is the Force doing these days?" Hotaru asked, one of his sons balanced on one knee.

"We're doing fine." Hikaru swallowed. Shisui could feel the 'but' coming from a mile away. "But it could be better I suppose."

Hotaru raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, what I am trying to say is…" continued Hikaru, "…there are intern problems as to how the Force should be run. Some say to go down a stricter route, while others want to keep it as it is." He sighed. "On top of that, the civilian, our primary 'clients', if you can put it like that, well they're getting more and more difficult these days. No respect for authority, or the Uchiha, in the extreme cases."

Shisui put his chopsticks down, eyes roaming his cousin's face. Hikaru's head was downcast, the black hair covering his eyes. Silence hung in the air, engulfing and weighing down on them.

"That isn't really news now is it?" Shisui's grandmother roared. _Here we go._ "Those damn civilians! They don't appreciate anything. We're keeping them safe and all we get in return are complaints and disrespect." His grandmother was on a roll. "They don't know what privilege is even when it's stuck to their bottoms! No loyalty! No gratitude!" grumbled the old woman and leaned forward in her seat, "and the worst part of it all? Nobody in Konoha thinks they're wrong, not the Hokage, not the other clans, nobody..."

Shisui heard wood breaking. All the heads turned towards his uncle who held in his hand four neatly separated pieces of wood. Deafening silence swept over the table. Kagami smiled and addressed his wife.

"We have some spares don't we?" "Yeah. I'll get them." Akane stood up, almost too eagerly and fled the room. Stares were plastered on Kagami's face, silence still engulfing them. It was a reaction where no words of indication were needed. It was clear as day and unmistakable.

Shisui had to do something.

"Well, uncle, at least we know you still got it…" Shisui said a teasing grin on his face. "Please don't tell me it's all that spinach that you ate? I hate spinach, it's bitter, green and worst of all, healthy…" The tension was still thick in the room, Shisui's attempt at diffusing the situation not doing much. Yet, Kagami sent him an appreciative smile.

"It's actually milk, Shi-kun." Hikaru cleared his throat and started talking to Hotaru's wife sitting at his right, completely ignoring the outburst they had just witnessed. Shisui took after his examples and leaned back, trying to catch Shizume's eyes. And the meal went on with meaningless chatter and tense laughs.

Shisui was the last to go, still slouching in the very comfortable armchair in the study, eyes closed and feeling another headache forming. Grandmother Kasumi was the oldest person he knew with her 97 years and what was worse (in a positive sense, of course), she was still very much alive and kicking. She had an opinion on everything and what she decided was law. Shisui had butted heads enough of times with her and knew that it would bring absolutely nothing to start negotiating. For his grandmother, the world was split in two, right and wrong, Uchiha and Non-Uchiha.

He rubbed his temple.

What she said…it was true, on so many levels and represented the general mentality of the clan. Yet, as much as Shisui loved his clan, his family, his roots, he couldn't say that he was completely on board with that particular mindset.

The Uchiha possessed one big flaw:

Since they had been 'given' the Force, there had been bad blood between the leadership of the village and the clan, which persisted to this day, infested generation after generation. The Uchiha felt watched and left out, forced to deal with the stuff, the village couldn't be bothered to do. Shisui didn't quite see it like that. Maybe he was biased. He wouldn't outright say that he wasn't, but at the same time he wasn't naïve. Uncle Kagami would kiss dirt off the Second Hokage's shoes if he could, but that didn't mean the man was a saint. Every Hokage did what he thought was right, and in the case of the Second, well he thought it wisest to keep a close eye on the Uchiha.  
Shisui didn't blame him. The safety of the village came first, it always did.

Nevertheless, exiling them out of the centre of the village, leaving them outside of shinobi affairs…it was more than humiliating. The Second did more damage than he could ever have imagined. Shisui was fairly positive that those hadn't been his intentions, but the outcome was the same. The Uchiha were hurt in their pride. At their core, they only wanted to be accepted into the village, be part of their home.  
Problem was, the Uchiha did not forgive easily. They could hold grudges over generations and accumulate hate.

Then the nine-tails attack happened and things only went downhill from there. Shisui remembered the day like it was yesterday. The massive amount of chakra in the air, so aggressive he could taste it, the screams of panic echoing around him, from civilians to shinobi who didn't knew what they should do.  
The woman and the child, their corpses who didn't look human anymore. The destruction that reigned over the village.  
They didn't allow him to fight the creature. He was too young, too much of a novice to combat a '100 metres large nine-tailed bijuu'. He remembered the look on his former sensei's face, the horror and fear radiating off him in waves, as he told him to go help the civilians. He hadn't disagreed.  
It was the last time Shisui saw his teacher.  
Getting the civilians to safety had been much harder than thought beforehand. He had to evade debris falling down from the sky, pay attention to the tails that could kill him at any moment and of course, the civilians themselves. He lost three of them on his first run, all crushed by the tails that were too fast, even for him. By the fourth his legs wouldn't stop shaking. By the sixth he didn't know if he would survive the day. By the eighth he had to seek refuge at the hospital because a he was about to bleed out.  
There had been so many people, bruised and bloody, and so little staff. The waiting room was filled with civilians scared out of their wits, holding onto each other, comforting each other, while simultaneously trying not to break down. The worst were the kids. Some had pipes in their legs, others missed part of their faces, most were so very quiet that it made the situation become unbearable. Over 20000 counted bodies they said, not one of them an Uchiha. To this day Shisui had found no explanation for this. The more he thought about the paradox, the more he began to question the background of the attack and the more he grew wary. He knew more about the sharingan than most of his fellow clan members. He knew what it was capable of. Controlling a biju…it didn't seem impossible.

Yet he couldn't believe, wouldn't believe, that the clan's pettiness could end in such acts. They were his family for Kami's sake, not a pack of savage dogs!

Since then, the relationship between the civilian population and the clan had been miserable at best. They thought them responsible for all the people they had lost and expressed that thought quite vocally. While the Uchiha went from mad and insulted, to aggressive and loathing, the civilians continued just the same unaware of everything that was going on.

"With that concerned face you look just like your father." Uchiha Kagami announced, standing in the doorframe.

Shisui slowly opened his eyes and was promptly blinded by the light. He squinted. The study was Shisui's favourite room. Since he was small it had been a room where he could think without getting interrupted, be himself, let his guard down. He loved everything about it, from the shelves pushed to the right, one more packed than the other, all displaying books of different sizes and genres, messily tossed together, to the ancient couch were legends had rested (both the Second and the Third Hokage to name a few, funnily enough that was uncle Kagami's reasoning why he couldn't throw it away). He remembered picking out one book after another, making a huge mess, but finding the scroll that helped him perfect his body-flicker. The couch of legends was tattered and mended on so many places that it consisted of equally new and old parts, but it was the couch of legends so it would never be replaced.  
The room was cluttered, small and the only thing he still associated with his father.

"I'll take that as a compliment. Dad was quite a looker." He answered.

"Tadao definitely was the prettiest one of us three." Kagami sat down. "Don't tell my sister I said that. She would kill me."

Shisui chuckled.

He always felt lighter in this room, propelled into the good old past where nothing was wrong and nobody was dead.

"You were not too shabby when you were younger," declared Shisui with a teasing voice, "And even now with a bit of chakra enhancement here…" He pointed to his eyes. "And there, you would be a Casanova once again."

Kagami's laugh was pleasant, quiet, but real.  
"Don't you dare tell your aunt that." He leaned forward and ruffled Shisui's already tousled hair. "She would throw you right out of my house."

"And then pick me up and cook an apology dinner." He swatted his uncle's hands away, not unkindly. Silence settled over them, not unpleasant, but unusual.

"What's on your mind, kid?" Kagami asked.

"What's on yours?" Shisui replied instantly.

A shinobi's mind was intricate. They thought in waves while others thought in straight lines. His uncle asking him outright to tell him what was going in inside his head felt like being asked to strip down. It was humiliating and vulnerable, so Shisui thought.

"A lot of things actually," Kagami cleared his throat, "I'm wondering if it will rain tomorrow, because if that happens I won't be able to work in the garden. I hope that Akane will make her special udon, and…mostly tinkering about what's going on in your head." He paused sending Shisui a meaningful glance. "The look on your face Shisui…I'm concerned, that's all."

Shisui broke eye contact with him.

His uncle was opinionated, he was always so sure of things, things Shisui often saw differently. Shisui felt like a little child compared to him, a weakling who needed protection. He didn't want to bother him, he didn't want to worry him even more. For Kami's sake he was ANBU! This was his burden. The doubt nagging at his conscious would always only be his burden.

He was an Uchiha. His family were the Uchiha. Everything else came second.

He stared blankly at his hands and lifted his head. He smiled.

"Well, uncle, that explains all your wrinkles."

* * *

AN: Sucker for reviews, as always. Hope you enjoyed it!


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